Beware The Jabberwock (TOXIC relationships)

Beware those who speak of toxicity

who declare and proclaim words over you ‘I think that sounds toxic’ ‘you can do better’ ‘perhaps they are narcissistic / neurotic / insecure / bad for you, TOXIC. I’m only saying this because you know I care about you’

word-lambs, that you rush to hold, missing the wolves underneath about to swallow you whole,

Why We Are Still Talking About Toxic Relationships

People got caught in the seductive cult of science and pop-psychology. Easier to blame ‘the relationship’ or ‘the other person’ than take responsibility for our own creation. Denying our power and outsourcing it to easy validation, the whispers of ‘ I understand you’.

In disconnecting ourselves, in our shame based culture, we became so thirsty to be seen, witnessed and held that any whisper that feels good becomes God, and true – so we drink from the poison well and wonder why we stay thirsty or feeling bad.

We Forgot The Gift of Discernment

Those who speak of toxicity are still shrouded in the conditioned mind-webs of ‘narcissism’ ’empath’ ‘better than thou’ ‘good vs bad’ determinants –

locked into liberal ideas of righteousness, convinced of ‘pure intention’ and protectionism and perhaps too, their own blind spots, their own desires for you –

leading you away from God.

God is source. Not their label, the false idol; not the spell of pseudo-psychologist idolatry and the ‘what it means to be human’ from within individualism; like that’s all that exists, whispering the devil’s seduction of

you vs them. fix yourself. remind yourself you can leave. ‘remember your light’ a way of subtly also reminding you ‘ you aren’t in the light, are you? you’re stuck down here in the darkness with me’.

They keep you stuck in your darkness by noticing it, focussing on it, to remind you – ‘you are like them’ dark, lost, eternally wandering. Not because they are ‘bad’ and not because they don’t care.

But simply because God is not their focus. God lost to the Gods of science, pop-psychology, the ego, the blindness of the non-conscious. Stagnant water.

The Hidden Victim Mode.

Fix your eyes on God.

It means

there can be no toxicity

unless you declare it so

unless you breathe life into the poison words and spells they speak over you –

Those who walk in darkness, who see in black white ‘toxic – non toxic’ – those who exist in darkness are not ‘bad’ – some of us have learned to dance within both 

but for those who remain there, who continue to live a tainted life, perpetually in shadow – sing their siren song

‘we understand one another’

convincing you that you are light; as the call of the pool of narcissus, or the lure of Persephone, the key in the hand of Pandora – the ones whose very being and lives are haunted by shadow –

‘we have the secrets’, it whispers, we know you, we see the good in you, but THEY are toxic, this SITUATION IS BAD, your relationship is DRAINING YOU ‘but we can’t tell you what to do but… ‘

whereas real care? is devoid of all judgement other than God’s pathway. and in fact it lifts you into loving better, harder, deeper. It makes YOU better. Not by leaving. But by holding you to account.

God will acknowledge your soul, not your ego or mind alone.

Real light will ask you – What’s your contribution? How can you be better? Where did you wound? where were you scared? where did you get defensive, or run, or not listen? They’ll be unafraid to show you your shadows, not point out the shadows surrounding you. THIS IS THE LIGHT.

Not the egoic validation of ‘you are like me. we understand eachother’ Pain parading and relating, is not of God’s kingdom.

(the seductress of wanting to be understood in a world of misunderstanding) (the seduction of becoming her rescuer, instead of King).

All that is ever needed to remove the lie of toxic – (other than abuse, alcholism, and adultery, which I’ll save for another post)

BRING IT TO GOD.

Not to the label, Not to the psychologists and pseudo-spellmakers and even the intentionally good

GOD, is good.

You bring your relationship to God.

‘in all ways acknowledge him; and he will make your path straight’.

Oh, I know that’s not a popular idea. Easier to stay in blame, and shame, and point the finger, and say, well toxic, let’s leave, move on… right?

Good thing I don’t care for being popular. Or for continuing to drink poison water.

Which was never about their toxicity, was it? only your need for validation, and the desire to forget the path to God is not the easy one.

Beware the jabberman xoxo

PS

I’m not here to take your hand and patronise you by telling you how bad your partner is or how much you don’t need someone. Who am I to question the desire God place upon your heart? I won’t prescribe you poison honey. I’m not here to provide validation. I will listen, but then I will remind you of your power. I will dance alongside you and hug you back into remembering the sun, the son, the sacrifice that was never your person, your love, your mirror-soul; but only ever the death of your thoughts and words.

It all starts with the word.

Choose carefully <3 I hope you choose love. Your power, over your patronisation. Your holy value, over their sacred ghosts and phantasies.

To choose me as your coach, work with me here.